Happy-Sad-Happy-Sad

i havent post anythin but sad lil poems in my past posts so i'll try and make this post livelier..

but i really hav to get a few sad things out of the way

i lost a sweet sweet friend for some time coz he delusionally thinks that not talkin to him would be good fr me.. well i'll wait fr him to contact me like i said to him..
he is this shweet bachha who thinks he is all grown up and knows wat is best fr everybdy..
well he doesnt and i hope he realises that and contacts me soon..

my summer trainin sucks its really borin.. coz its with a PSU and basically they do not hav a project to giv.. dnt kno why they selected me.. they r not payin me anythin.. oh btw i was blackmailed into takin this summer trainin by the palcecom under the threat thatif i dnt take this an fail to get thru the my dream company they would wash their hands off me.. and not help me get summers at all.. so i had to take this one

now that the sad things r outta the way..

i have joined the British council library for these summer trainin months so that i can do watever research i want.. sadly i dnt hav an internet connection at home..

i am back on speakin terms with a dear friend that i thot i had lost .. i hope we remain good friends..

am gettin loads of good food at home .. a nice change frmm the grubby mess ka khaana

i am tryin really hard to find things that goin well rite now in my life.. well thats all that i have been able to rake out the shit arnd me..

here is a better idea.. i'll just list down 5 things that would make me unbelievably happy :

a) guy i love loves me bak as much as i love him
b) get over the guy that doesnt love me back and find a nice guy who does
c) the friend who has stopped speakin to me starts talkin to me again
d) i eat tons of icecream and not gain even an ounce of weight
e) a great job that pays me really well .. i hav to wait fr this fr another year but again this has the most chance of coming true


i feel a lil better after puttin up a real post after such a long time..

He wont be mine

He sits infront of me listening to songs and i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

We discuss subjects we r goin to take next trimester and i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

He dances with me and i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

He kissed me and i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

He makes me laugh yet i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

I am writin this as he sits in frnt of me totally oblivious to the fact that i cry .. knowing he wont be mine

Come Back!!

well i am back frm .. i dnt kno gazillions of seconds of hibernation.....
i cant say i missed bloggin.. but today actually for a couple of days i have been havin this urge to put up a post...

i dnt kno wat i am goin to say.. but i just started typin and these words just started flowin..

well life hasnt been all hunky dory .. but whos life is???

i have written a poem and decided that this should be my come back vehicle..
i dnt kno how many of u even come and read d blog now.. but i just really wanted to put these up
and also a dear dear friend requested me to put them up..

Eternal wait

Smtimes i feel i can never stop hurtin
"i love u.. i love u.."
these words i keep on blurtin
to anyone and everyone
who shows me an ounce of affection
gettin hurt is a task
that i have mastered to perfection

i kno my prince will come
but i hope its not too late
my heart is dyin a slow death..
but i'll wait fr him till my last breath...............

as i lay disfigured on the ground
my heartbeat is d only sound
people come and look at me
an ugly girl is all they see
they point at me and call me names
"she is a slut..a shameless dame!"

but when my prince will come and
look at me
more than the scars he would see..
he would see the gaping void in my soul...
he would fill it up and make me whole!!!

Life at IMT

PHEW!!!!

FINALLY i got some time to write something

I AM BEING RAGGED!!!
After working for 2 yrs i am being ragged !!!!!

God they dnt let us sleep!!! for the first 8 days i just got 1 hr sleep everyday!!!!
and i am used to sleepin for minimum of 10 hrs :(

and the seniors here tell me pretty much nobody sleeps here more than 4 -5 hrs a day!!

gosh that is goin to take some gettin used to..

the ragging itself is not very harryin just the sleep deprivation is driving me crazy!!

so due to that i am most of the time sleepy and weepy amd screamy which leads to a lil bit of more ragging!! :(

i havent read anybdys blog yet .. which i will start doin as soon as i get some time and my lappy ..

i still hav to get the student loan so its goin to b smtime before i get my lappy..

the ragging is pretty much boring coz all they do is ask us to introduce ourselves,sing or dance or perform skits.. and they keep screaming at us all the time and they dnt let us sleep!!

they r sadists abt the sleep thing i tell u!!
all of us keep dozing of in class he he he :)

i am being a back bencher for a change !!
its fun but i got screaming frm 1 teacher already fr talkin too much in his class he he :D

i am tryin out for the Placement committee of our college which is like the most prestigious committee here .. i hope i get thru!!

but the upside of not gettinh thru is that i'll hav lots of time to chill out and relax coz this committee gives us like tons of work!!!

BTW i was branded by the seniors as a girl with an attitude problem.. i think that scene is improving now!!
i am being properly deferential to them on their faces all the while muttering curses under my breath he he ;)

One very imp thing before i end this post :

I MISS ALL OF U.. I HOPE U READ THIS POST AND COMMENT SO THAT I KNOW THAT U GUYS MISS ME TOO!!!!!!

Stuff

a lot of unconnected stuff(inspiration raj's latest post)

• first smthing that i want to gloat about...
  I got more than 40 comments fr the first time ever for my last post.....
  i kno i kno its not such a big deal.. but yeay! i am happy..
  now i am not a great blogger chick who gets like gazillions of comments so this lil thing makes me happy :D
  *sighs at how really minuscule things make her happy*
  
  
• i am currently listening to songs from KANK(Kabhi alvida na kehna for the uninitiated) ..
  now i dnt do formal formal reviews like Raj but lemme giv u a sneak peek frm my point of view
  
  1.Kabhi alvida na kehna(Title song): its ok! i mean u expect more frm the Johars title track atleast.. its nice but my expectations were more i guess
  but mayb i'll like it more when i see shahrukh he he :)
  
  2. mitwa: a nice pakistani folksy kind of song .. me likey
  reminds me of junoon(the band not the sucky tiger movie)
  
  3. Rock n roll soniye: nice upbeat song.. me likey this one also.. the only problem with it now is that it reminds of pretty woman ever since Raj said that :(
  
  4. wheres the party tonight: again .. upbeat but u kno somehow again reminds me of its the time to disco ..
  i mean thats the problem with all the songs of this movie .. they r nice but u kno not upto what i hav come to expect frm the johar movies :(
  
  5. Tumhi dekho na: soft , melodious but doesnt grow on u again i say that i think i have to c the picturisations to really love these songs
  
  Overall verdict: nice songs but below expectations for the Johar clan movies
  so arnd 7/10 fr them
  
  
  Pick of the lot : rock n roll soniye and mitwa
  
  
• i have to fill up tons of forms and get gazillions of signatures testifyin that i am not takin even a lil piece of lint frm the firm that i am leaving
  *hides the laptop that she was tryin to sneak out*
  
  
• i bought a new pair of jeans that i am sure make me look fatter than i am :( even tho a friend denied it like a gazillion times... gosh guys r so sweet smtimes..
  bought like 3-4 kurtas frm fabindia all in preparation fr college life :)
  
  
• am still thinkin abt which laptop to buy so any suggestions in that regard would be duly appreciated .. only criteria fr them is that they should be less than 60 k
  
  
• i have to try and find time to say goodbye to all my friends properly before i leave .. gosh that is goin to hurt..
  
  
  Reminder : Suggestions abt laptop .. all u nerdy guys ahem ..i mean sweetie pies.. i need ur help.. the lappy should be fast,light and cheap(less than 60 K)
  
  
  

Melancholy Me

i was one of those people who hated status quo of any kind...

i wanted people to be jerked out of their complacency to achieve smthing...

i was one of those people who thought that logic and rationality r the only ways to go ..

i was one of those people who people called a robot or a machine coz i can be very cold and cruel when i am angry...

i was one of those people who thought being the best 1 can be is the only way to be happy...

I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

now all i feel like doing is curling up in my bed and not think of leaving it..

now all i feel like doing is just stay where i am ...

now all i do is FEEL

now all i do is feel SAD



As u can guess from the stuff above i am feeling really depressed abt leavin bangalore...
i kno i am goin to join a bscool
i kno is goin to b good fr me(hopefully)

but i am just sad ..mayb i'll look bak and think i was actin bizzare but for now i just want to be SAD and not feel guilty abt it ..
coz people bak home r goin to be really happy fr me..
coz i am comin bak ..

as much as i try i am unable to be happy ..
i hope this is not like an omen that i am not goin to b happy there!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


i hurt yet nobdy understands, i bleed but nobdy can see
coz all they can see is a girl who is goin to be what she wanted to BE

what they cant see is the pain
they say "girl u have got so much to gain"

what they cant see r my tears and fears
they just say "WOW u r goin to b an MBA in 2 years"

i just want smbdy to say "i care"
i just want smdy to say "its going to b ok .. i'll always be there"

Introducing brand new Blogroll

Hi i have added a nice lil blogroll.. if i have missed out ur name by mishtake pls remind me and i'll add u in a jiffy..
i hav no work to speak of today hence i thought lemme do smthing constructive hence the Blogroll!!

me happy .. me likey my blogroll :D